Embracing the Boring Life: A Short Chronicle of My Transition from (Mostly) Adventurer to (More of a) Homebody

Updated 8-20-21

It sometimes pains me to admit that my life is not as exciting as it was in the past. I look back fondly on my college years and my 20s when every weekend was full of adventure and a high percentage of weekdays were too.  Being at home in the evening was boring, and felt like a defeat.

So I filled my nights with friends get-togethers and all manner of ridiculum. Can all 10 of us fit in the hot tub in the same time? How about in my car? Which live band should we go to see downtown tonight?

Weekends were reserved for outdoor adventures. Hiking, skiing, camping and the like. Later, service projects through church found their way into the mix also. As long as I was out doing something, not at home, I was happy.

The fact that I had an active social life was well-documented on social media. Seems that when a bunch of single people gather together, at least one person has a camera out and takes copious pictures that end up being tagged on Facebook. I didn’t mind at all.

When one group of friends ended up disbanding as they all started getting married off, a brief period of loneliness ensued before the circle was restored with a new group of folks who were eager to have fun. Back in business.

More Responsibilities + Change in Relationship Status = More “Boring”

As things like having a stressful job put the brakes on some of my fun, I still managed to be fairly active. The big turning point came for me when I got married. That is pretty normal I suppose.  I knew there would be a honeymoon phase where we would be happy to be hermits together for several months. That definitely happened. What I didn’t expect is that my desire to be social would be greatly stunted from that point forward.

Part of that is because Mike, my husband, really isn’t a social person and prefers to be at home. Note: I didn’t realize this while we were dating; he convincingly masqueraded as a social butterfly to make the rounds and find his woman. Once the deal was sealed, the homebody nature was revealed. This was not covered in pre-marital counseling.  I am not in any way throwing Mike under the bus. Just stating the facts.

I love being at home, hanging out with Mike, so that contributed to my growing homebodiness. (If that is not a word, I just made it one.) I’ve since learned that I also need social time with friends, so I have made accommodations for that in my schedule.

The stress of responsibilities at work and home further stunted my energy and desire to be social. I came to enjoy the relaxing moments I had at home, as they seemed to be fewer and more precious. Sharing life and a common space with Mike made all the difference in the world.

Tuesday night at home with no plans at age 25: panic and call friends to fix this disaster.

Tuesday night at home with no plans now: sheer bliss.

My Current Life: Boring and I’m OK with it

These days, I go on adventures much less often. I see friends much less frequently. I see nothing wrong with relaxing at home on a Saturday from time to time or spending the day catching up on chores.

As a result, my Facebook profile shows much less activity. The chronic party photographer doesn’t show up at our house to document me washing the dishes. Thankfully. It doesn’t have a whole lot of sizzle to post, “Staying in with pizza and Netflix tonight.”

Even though my life contains more routine and less action, I’m OK with it. We still go on trips and adventures. I post about 10% of them online vs. 99% from yesteryear, because, my level of caring about proving that I have an awesome life has diminished. I know my life has value and significance, even if mostly devoid of the energy-fueled adventures of my 20s.

I’m not saying you won’t ever see me post at 1 a.m. at an establishment with a band playing. It is still possible. It’s just more likely that you won’t see me post because I’m staying in with pizza and Netflix.



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