Summer Sorensen

I’ll jump right in here and list some facts!

1. The correct way to hang a roll of toilet paper is with the paper facing out. Everybody knows this.
   
2. When telling a story, if you find yourself without a suitable ending, just say, “So … yeah.” Works every time to wow your audience.
3. Cats are superior to dogs as pets. Enough said.

   

4. It is appropriate to brush your teeth after breakfast, not before.
   If you brush before, you get rid of morning breath, only to foul it up again upon eating breakfast and/or drinking coffee. Not to mention, the minty taste doesn’t jive well with food. Come on now, pre-breakfast toothbrushers. Listen to reason.
5. When you’re sick, coughing and sneezing into your elbow is polite. Using your hand is barely more sanitary than not covering your mouth at all. Defiling your hand with mungy mucus, then proceeding to touch things that others might touch, thus spreading germs – where is the love in that??
6. When it comes to a box of chocolates, the ones with fruit filling are revolting.
7. People who regularly state their opinions as facts cannot be trusted. (Unless they are right.)
8. The Golden Rule is based on the words of Jesus (Matthew 7:12). The Platinum Rule is based on ever-changing cultural wisdom. Therefore, Golden Rule wins.
9. Facts don’t care about your feelings. (Ben Shapiro coined this one, I believe.)
10. You shouldn’t judge a book by its cover. Unless it is a romance novel with an illustrated cover picture of a shirtless, glistening-bare-chested man. Then you absolutely should judge it.
11. The characters in Parks & Recreation are more endearing than those in The Office (American version).
12. To up the ante even more, Park and Recreation is a better show than The Office. Hey, don’t look at me with that tone of voice.
13. If you read this whole list, I think you’re neat.
    (Even though you may be in denial of at least one of the facts listed above.)

I really don’t expect any disagreement on this, because, how can anyone argue with facts?? Nevertheless, comments are welcomed. 🙂 Thanks for reading!